Introduction
...Do
you prefer fairness to
unfairness?
Most of us like fairness and
dislike
unfairness.
Fairness intuitively and logically appeals to our hearts and
minds
as it brings us peace and harmony.
Unfairness
painfully upsets our hearts and minds
as it brings us conflict and discord.
Yet
regardless of our desire for fairness,
unfairness
remains too much a part of our ongoing lives,
in part, because of confusion
in understanding fairness
and unfairness in our daily lives.
For
example,
"selfish"
commonly means unfairly favoring oneself over others.
It's a term that makes sense and can be useful.
But
what about its antonym,
"un-selfish"?
Selfish
is unfair,
but
is
un-selfish
fair?
Not
necessarily!
Sometimes it is and sometimes
it isn't.
Un-selfish
is
an illogically ambiguous term
that often leads to confusion.
To clear up this confusion,
we redefine unselfish
into
two terms:
otherish and
fairish.
Otherish
is that previously unnamed extreme
where favoring others over oneself is the theme.
Otherish IS unselfish, but it isn't
fair!
Fairish is the
constructive middle range
between the destructive extremes of
selfish
and otherish.
Fairish is a fair and balanced blend
of constructive
self-concern
and constructive concern-for-others.
Fairish is both unselfish AND fair.
Using
the old simplistic terminology,
the choices have been:
Selfish
and
Unselfish
(and lots
of
confusion).
Using the new
simpler way, the choices are:
Selfish.....Fairish.....Otherish
(and much more understanding).
...Why
fair-ish-er instead of just plain fair?...
Because fairness by its very nature is often imprecise.
Few situations in life are absolutely fair.
Realistically, fair-ish is as fair as living
is likely to get on any routine basis.
But in spite of this imprecision,
fairishness means gradually
becoming more (rather than less) fairish,
or fair-ish-er.
Please proceed to
the Original
Guide
for a graphic presentation of this simpler, more balanced
and logical way of understanding fairness in relations. And
then to the less graphic but more moderately phrased
"Selfishers,
Otherishers
and Fairishers"
Chart.
Then refer to "becoming fairisher" for ways of applying
these ideas to fairishize the relations in your
life.